as told by Candice Evans
I wanna tell you somethin because I was a sinner, ya know, I served the devil and them demons had me tied up. I was like a slave to sin, I drunk liquor, I used drugs, I slept round and I diddin even care with who or what. I am tellin you that me was a fool!
The nite when I'd enuff, I was gonna take my own life I had decided on killin meself cause I was disgustin, miserable, and just plain sick of livin'. I got into a cheap hotel in the city not to fer from where I lived. Decided I would jump out the window in the middle o the nite and nun would know till it was the next mornin.
Well sure enuff when it was bout midnite on a Wednesday I made my ready and believed no one would even know I had jumped till they found me on Thursday mornin. I git up on the window's edge an I tried to jump an' me felt as somethin or somebodie had grab my legs. I weren't scared cause I was dog tired of livin' fer the devil and the gross things I'd done. So, I tried agin, same thing happened then I sed to me self, wat the hell's this?
I went o'er to the bed and flopped across it, I was cryin' by this time, bawlin like a baby wantin his moma. Then I did it I said out of me own mouth, "God who ever you are, if yer real pleese come to me. out no where this Light appeared, I thought it were a ghost. Then I heared this voice and it was real pretty, not like a woman, but like the rushin of water over rocks, so clean.
That there voice said to me, "l am JESUS and I do not want you to die. Listen to Me, I have a great gift for you and if you accept it, you can be brought out of nowhere and go somewhere for Me." So, I sed yes JESUS, I want the gift and I want you! Then He toll me to Repent and become a child of His Father whose God. So I asted Him what does "repent" mean He said that you are sorry for your sins and the ugly way you've been living.
Then I poured out of the pain inside me's heart and I cried and cried, cause I was miserable. As I finally came back to me self, I was on the bed and the covers was wet from me tears. I felt like I was a new man, and for the first time in me life, I felt clean in me's heart.
I had plenny a trubles whare I come from cuz we was poor and the utter kids mocked me and me sister Sadie cause she ne'er had pretty dresses, just stuff that was give to us by utter people. She was ten months yunger than I were and my name was Gradie. Some of pepple used to think we was twins but we wazn't. Me daddy was a hard drinkar and he hit the road affer Sadie were born and I ne'er seen him since. Some peppl sayd he road the rails to Calieferne, I don't know. I had to work hard even when I were yung. I dedn't get to go to skool much cuz I was altime tryin to help me moma. She cried a lot and was always skared me daddy would come back and beat her and maybe even kill us yungens. Tell you me tried to make her happy, but she's altime skared an sad.
We waz in a shack and it were cold as thar waz cracks everwhar. We tried stuffin old newspapers in thare to keep warm, sometimes we'd just lay all togather in the bed to keep warm and we was weth nuthin to eat. When the storms would come the shack would shake and rain would pour in thru the roof an we'd move the rickety bed as fer way frum the leaks as we culd. But we still got wet but not neer's bad as culd've been.
Sad to say, me started drinkin reel young, gettin empty bottles and hold em up for the last drops. Lived bad like me dad, sum-times me moma looked at me and asted if me'd been drinkin. Me'd lie and say, "no moma".
Sadie didn't wan me doin it an tuld me to quit. Me tuld her to shut up an if she neer tryd it she didin know how good it was to feel warm inside.
One day I saw a bottle layin in the dirt, it were full like it'd fallen out of sum man's pocket. I quick as ligtin grabbed it and took it home. I'd go out sided and take a sip or two and feel warm inside. Sadie caught me and I told her to try sum, cuz I was her big brother she took a long drink. I tol her stop too much will make you pass out. She got dizzy and then looked at me with her big ole eyes and said she liked it.
Frum dat time on, she was wurse then me, she'd even steal from me to get her sips. As she started getting to luk like a woman she started layin' up with men to get somethin to drink. She culdn't stop her drinkin and one nite they finded her dead by the railroad tracks, said her face was black and blue and her throat was slit. Moma died shortly after cuz she didn't want to live with her baby girl dead. So I was alone and me went wilder than ever and the rest Is to ugly to talk about.
After JESUS fergave me, I new one thing I was to blame fer ever thin I did and I was a slave to sin. I knew me dad was a drunk, my sissy was a drunk, me mama was dead, and I was a drunk and a dope takr. Thar wuzn't nun I culd say cuzed it all, so I had to fergive me daddy, me moma, me sister and meself. From that nite on, I ne'er touched liquor agin, and I swore off dope cuz I now was a "child of me Father in heaven and Jesus fergave me. Now I am no longer on the road to Hell goin' no where. I am with Jesus and the Holy Spirit is me guide. My reason fer tellin yawl me past is don't du what I did, and if you hate anyone fergive em and fergive yerselves. Luv not hate. Thar's so manie gud thins Jesus has dun fer me and me Father is not drunk. He's in Heaven watchin over me and luvin' me.